Each Saturday many people around the globe tune into “Iyanla, Fix My Life on OWN the Oprah Winfrey Network. We have a front row seat as she indulges our curiosity around life issues. The people she encounters are just like us they are dealing with love, loss, secrets and fears. The show is helping them come face to face with what is holding them back from living the life they dream of. Iyanla is there to help and Coach them into success. Is this what Coaching really is or is it a form of Coaching with entertainment?

If, there is anyone who has read her books and spoke with her personally it is me. I have tuned into here career before the cameras started to roll. However, as I peruse periodically her style and what she represents, I’m a little bit disturbed and concerned. Let me first say the intention of the show is to help people and give them the resources they need to grow and develop. I believe it accomplishes this goal on some level.

As a Life Coach here in Atlanta, I like to leave my clients emotionally whole and optimistic. Iyanla, comes on the scene  as an expert in all things but one of the guidelines for Coaching is you are there to give guidance, direction and insight.

It is the goal of the Coach to listen, be empathetic and wait on direction from the client. Our goal is not to bully you, talk down to you or intimidate you into confession. Coaching is not about confession but rather revealing and sharing.

Iyanla, is not the standard for Coaching. We are not gaveling or screaming at you nor do we  get in your face and God knows we do not crawl around on our knees forcing you to tear  up or weep. No, we are here to be a support and a teacher to all we are entrusted to work with.

I will encourage to take a look at my video it explains what a Life Coach is and what is the purpose of a Life Coach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6iNyjPDt7k

We can have all of our needs met on a high level when we bring into them basic tools to enhance our lives. Many times we enter into these unions wanting someone to fulfill us and make us whole.

Tony Robbins helps us to define why we are in the relationship to begin with. He uses basic examples to make this point very clear. Listed below are some of the traits of having a healthy loving relationships.

1. Love

2. Compassion

3. Respect

4. Trust

5. Passion

6. Enjoyment

I Speak Life Coaching is excited to share this powerful video about love and relationships.

httpsvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHyLzRwie4g

http://www.ispeaklifecoaching.com/ Welcome, I’m your Life Coach David Smith. Happy New Year, we are excited about what the future holds for you. you ready to move forward with the dreams and hopes you have set forth in the New Year? We here at I Speak Life Coaching would like to give you some simple tools to help you reach all of your goals.

Have you made any declarations for the New Year? Are you ready to thrive? Are you still fussing over those last 10 pounds? Are you still thinking about returning to school? Do you dream but cant seem to execute? Let me say, you are not alone.

In order for you to set the goals and make the declarations, you need a change of mind. This is the year of change, excited, love and expectation. In order for you to catch the wave and move in the right direction, you must change your mind.

You control what goes into your brain and what comes of of your brain. Put in good information and you get good results and the same is true for bad information. The work here is not just on the treadmill or on the business plan but it must involve a reprogramming of your mind. The fight for greatness starts in the mind and then moves in the greater parts of our lives. You must take charge of what you are thinking and what you believe.
James Allen said ” as a man thinketh so is he”, that statement holds true today. When we begin to align our minds with our thoughts and actions, then we can accomplish all we desire and hope.

Your goals are attainable and you can past by those but in order for you to be apart of this new wave, then you must change your mind and also change your heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHyLzRwie4g

Thank you for joining me here at I Speak life Coaching.

Follow me on https://twitter.com/DavidShawnSmith
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ISpeakLifeCoaching

httpsvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYnYeectFVY

Relationships are here to help us grow and expand in our lives. If you want to know more about who you are and what you are made of then a good healthy relationship can be great ground to start.

You might find yourself in a great relationship and things are going good but it could be better. How do you go from good to great? One main key component is you must be willing to ask for what you want.

Ask for what you despite and what you need. You can assume your lover, wife, husband or partner knows what those need are and it is unfair for you to punish them for not knowing what they are. When you open your mouth and ask for what you want several things happen

1. You allow them to get closer to you.
2. You give them options in their decision making.
3. You then can make better decisions as it relates to you moving forward.

The relationship can not grow if you are not clear and transparent in your relationship. For instance, if you need more intimacy and you have not made that clear to your partner, they may think you want sex. When, in fact you want more conversation, more cuddling, more dinner talk or pillow talk because it makes you feel secure and valued.

In this video you will get straight up no chaser, good relationship advice and hopefully you will use these tools to help strengthen your partnership.

I’m your Life Coach David Shawn Smith. Thank You

I’m sure you know the feeling of making promises to yourself and then breaking them – like I’m going to lose weight, ha, I’m going to clean out the garage, ha, I’m going to get more training and go for the promotion. Have you ever just felt stuck and unproductive?

No one informed me starting a business would be this challenging. I must confess, business ownership is not for the faint of heart. It is serious work and it pushes all of your buttons.

If you really want to know who you are, strike out on your own, all of who you are will be revealed. Personally, I’ve felt frustrated by the slow turning wheels of success. I sometime feel stuck in this rut and I too have to figure out how to get unstuck.

I made up my mind that failure is not an option. My week is full of glorious surprises and wonderful creations. I get up each day looking for the new thing or the new idea and get down in the dirt and work. The way in which I had to figure out this up and down game was to have my own set of beliefs and tools to help along the way.

There would be no more excuses. No more promises made and not keep them. I’m going to do whatever has to be done and no more complaining but push through till the end.

If you feel like you are stuck in a job, career, relationship, let me offer you up a few tips to help you keep it moving.

4 Tips To Help You Keep Moving:

Change Locations: Each morning I would be at the desk working looking out the same window. I realized that I needed to see people and hear certain noises. So, I get up, get out and change locations. I switch it up and break my routine. I pack up the lap top and leave my place and try not to be seduced by my favorite day time shows.

Get Inspiration: I’m a walker and I love to walk through new neighborhoods in the city. So, each day I find a new path for me to walk and explore.

It is so exciting to find that small business shop which I never noticed while in the car or discover a running creak in a certain tucked behind some dogwood trees. Inspiration can come from any source.

Do It Now: Tomorrow never comes. I would put off task until the next day. Well, I realized the week would have passed and I’m still not done what I promised myself. Do what needs to be done today. Tomorrow mind set is not for winners.

Seek Truth: If any of you are like me, I can spend an enormous amount of time alone. It is not good to have someone you do not check in with from time to time.

I have built my “truth” commission who tells me the truth and helps me grow in the most important areas of my life. Find you someone who you can be accountable to in this process.

I hope me sharing my journey to personal freedom has helped in anyway. Send me a note and let me know how you get unstuck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-HZYrK9PjA

Hi everyone. In this video, I would like to send a personal Fall greeting to all of my YouTube subscribers, my Facebook friends and fans, and most of all, my personal and group coaching clients.

Fall is a special time of the year. Many of us waste the opportunity to consciously think about the seeds that we want to plant for the Spring.

Many of us have planted seeds of negativity, lack, scarcity, and mistrust and mis-trust in ourselves. No more. Today is the day to think about the seeds that you want to plant this fall, like a farmer. We must be proactive and co-create to reap the harvest we want.

Set your intentions and set them well.

Plant the seeds and strategize today what you want to see in the coming months in your life and for your family and loved ones.

Take good care and please e-mail me and let me know what kinds of seeds you’re planting or leave your comments below.

Like I Speak Life Coaching On Facebook at www.Facebook.com/ISpeakLifeCoaching

Twitter – http://twitter.com/#!/davidshawnsmith

Or subscribe to our YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ISpeakLifeCoaching

Athletes, Anger and Abuse

Violence is a man’s issue. Men can argue all the day long around who are the culprits or the victims as it relates to violence but at the end of the day we as men are left holding violence as like a mother and her new born.

We have created a culture around violence and it is glorified in pop culture and in the media. I’m not here to put all of this in historical context because there is a lot of information out there which speaks to the context of violence. However, my position is how violence is used in the world of sports and our women. When a man “puts his hands on a woman”, violence is his issue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95c5yt_UJ78

Athletes are having a hard time these days with anger and abuse. We have heard and read about Ron Artest and Floyd Mayweather  and now Chad Johnson.

The barbershops are on full alert these days. Men are sitting and discussing Chad Johnson and how he was cut from the Dolphins and how he lost his endorsements and the reality show cancellation. Barbers are referring arguments from men who are just appalled with the way Chad Johnson is being treated and how it is so unfair.

Is it unfair? Was the punishment to harsh? Does he deserve a second chance? Will he ever be forgiven in the media? I say no to all of them. Chad Johnson and his followers must learn how to deal with the consequences of violence in America.

The patrons in the barbershop will argue that we really do not know what happened that night. Which is true but what we do know is his wife, Evelyn, was running to the neighbors in a night gown with 3 inch gnash in her forehead. Violence is a man’s issue.

The issue of violence is directly connected to anger and how we relate to women and power as men. Violence is a result of living in a culture of violence and abuse toward women. I would love to name the athletes who have arrested and charged with abuse but the list is too long to name.

I will stick with the three I named earlier. Chad, Ron and Floyd are just the tip of the iceberg. Power and money in the wrong hands are a deadly combination. Three of these men had not been given the skills to deal with anger and how to control their tempers and to not hit a woman.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is on the same side of passion, it is a fire component. The same issues which drives passion also drives anger. Anger is fueled by many components and I will list a few.

• Pain is often expressed through anger.
• Position in the family, relationship is being challenged.
• The need to be right and to win
• The need to be heard and to feel like you matter

These men in those moments of anger and rage felt one or all of these emotions in that time period. When your emotions are unchecked and you are feeling like you are not winning, you use what is at your disposal. You will use your body, raise your voice or throw objects. Violence is a man’s issue.

Once we result to violence, we experience, regret, shame, fear and loss. Lets take at look at all of these men and see what their actions resulted in. Ron, Chad and Floyd all experienced shame, regret, fear and loss.

What are some of the tools we can use to be less angry?

1. Stop with being frustrated and wanting to punish the person.
2. Stop blaming someone for your feelings
3. Stop residing in the anger
4. Become solution focused and take action in a positive way.
5. Calm yourself down before taking any actions.

Anger can be managed and it can lead to a more positive outcome for all involved. As the stories of athletes , anger and abuse continues, I hope these few tips will help further conversation in a meaning manner.

There is a sense of comfort in realizing our lives are consistent and quickly managed. Knowing this makes us feel protected, care-free, as well as in control. If our personal world is disrupted in any kind of form, we are tossed into a psychological spin. If there is anything which intimidates us, it is instability.

Instability is able to be messy, not precise, and ugly. It causes us to experience fear on a deep level. As we face instability, it can cause us to be a bottle of stress and anxiety, anger, frustration since we need to be vulnerable.

Being so psychologically raw is uncomfortable to the human soul. Why? Due to the fact that, when this happens, we are driven to handle the fear of loss, and also a new method of living our everyday lives.

The anxiousness around instability does not need to be around something bad. It could be a new vocation, a new relationship, a new little one, or the conclusion of a large venture. It is not the value of life’s changes however alter itself which drives us nutty as men and women.

To some people, instability is an incentive. It’s an indicator that something marvelous and divine is about to take place. Just how is it that some people can roll with the punches while others hit a brick wall? Do they have something special or exceptional? Is there a secret formula?

Just before, we begin to address those inquiries allow us to consider 5 significant areas of our lives which instability plainly disrupts.

1. Vocation

2. Romantic Relationships

3. Household

4. Physical Health

5. Finances

Of course, I could detail 1000s, but I think these are the large ones. We can easily all raise our hands if we are asked if we’ve experienced any of those detailed above. If we are candid with our own selves, several of us had tests adapting to the life’s changes due to the fact that we did not have the necessary tools as well as abilities to enable ourselves.

Therefore, let’s go back as well as revisit the concerns around why others conform as well as others can not. There is no secret formula. The one strand of connection we could identify in those that have actually prospered in the face of instability is the means they answer the situation.

They re-imagined the encounter via the lens of something great. It’s as if they pointed out to themselves” something terrific is coming my way on the additional side of this period of life’s changes.”

To re-imagine this is difficult to do when we are faced with loss or agony. The discomfort and also the feelings may cloud our thoughts as well as our ability to affirm and remain focused. So, no, it is not an easy walk to believe brighter and also bigger throughout any amount of instability, however it can be done.

For example, take Peyton Manning, the championship Super Bowl quarterback who has actually had an outstanding football career which dates back to when he was at the University of Knoxville. He was sent to the Indiana Colts, gained a Super Bowl, and also has many endorsement agreements.

And yet, one awkward hit, flipped the script on his football career. He was driven to cope with the change of his body, the loss of games during the football season, and also the gossips of possibly far better playing days being behind him.

After experiencing this, he was traded for a more youthful quarterback in the course of the off period. Dealt an emotional strike, he stood there with the Indiana Colt’s logo as a rear drop to announce he was leaving. With hurt in his eyes, he graciously gave thanks to every person for their assistance.

This celebrity athlete was driven to move and begin a new journey. He might have ignored or merely resigned, yet currently, he is looking forward to starting as quarterback for the Denver Broncos and also continuing his stellar athletic career. Peyton Manning re-framed, altered as well as made it work for him and also those around him. You could do the exact same.

Therefore, ask yourself what does this mean? Does it need to be adverse, could I rethink this and also recognize the  good in the situation. Is what I’m doing working for me in the highest possible method? Just what does it serve me if I simply permit it? Just what can I do to take the sting out of this experience?

Like almost anything else, it takes a specific talent to adjust to instability and also life. It is up to us to understand this and make it benefit us. By administering these steps listed below we are able to in and also through life’s changes with simplicity and with poise.

I Speak Life Coaching Check-list

1. Allow yourself to work through the feelings you are feeling.

2. Develop neighborhood, advise an individual pertaining to this experience.

3. Re-imagine life’s changes and utilize it as a beneficial and also not an unfavorable.

4. Utilization your memory as a measuring stick. Your life’s knowledge are able to help you.

5. Resist absolutely nothing. Let it to come up.

6. Embrace, adapt, readjust, and permit the lessons to come forward.

Just what can you do right here as well as now? In my work as an executive life coach based in Atlanta, GA, I coach people on a daily basis to help them live out their wildest passions. Those aspirations could be around health, professional, travel and in service to others.

Just what can you do right here and now?  Let Will Smith, the actor, producer help us in this process.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeB-AkTH8YQ

. In the video Will Smith speaks very openly about life and living on your own terms. It takes a lot of courage and internal work to move beyond the fear of failure and move into conquering fears.  I coach people on a daily basis to help them live out their wildest passions. Those aspirations could be around health, your business, traveling or being of service to others.

In my talks with others, they have wonderful ideas and plans. Some might jump at the chance to create the amazing novel or get in shape for the marathon.  And also some want to be tie the knot, say I do, or find a life partner.

Today we can still dream. For some of us, they just  don’t fit into our paradigm. At the end of the day, we need to feel connected and to realize they matter on this planet. I say to my clients, ok, let’s move and get started and let us collectively unpack much of what has actually just been put on the table and also what comes out always amazes me.

What follows are questions pertaining to your life’s passions. I’m at a loss for words, not by the question, yet what commonly comes up doing the discovery of passions. I believe we all have this question inside of us which makes us wonder occasionally if we are doing all we may do in our lives.

However, just what drives these internal concerns are instabilities and uncertainty. We at times have problems with moving forward because of the grasp or the stronghold of deep rooted beliefs about ourselves. In order to move forward you have to tackle your self-talk as well as your belief system.

Many of us speak ourselves out of our dreams. “I’m too old to start over.” “I’m not qualified.” “I’m silly to think this can be; I cannot easily leave my job and go after a business dream.”

We literally speak our own selves away from what we have been called to do. I respond by saying, you may not pay to bet small any longer. It is time to play BIG for once in your life. You have work to do and I’m here to help you. You can do it !!

If you are nodding yes as you check out this article and the musings on this site, it is time to Power Up. You have the ability within you to be more of who you are on this day. Just how do you do it you ask?

1. Do not dread.
2. Walk within the moment.
3. Have an end in your head.
4. Jot it down.
5. Imagine it; make it genuine in your creative imagination.
6. Inform the truth.
7. No, is not a possibility

We at I Speak Life Coaching know to a couple of you this may appear simplified, however, who said to you it had to be hard. It is challenging because you made it difficult. You do not need to make things more difficult.

You do not need to receive agreement from others. You just need to show up as well as realize when you show up all the necessary tools are there to support your dreams coming to life.

The next time you are strolling around and pondering, “what can I do right here and also right now?” begin with this –  refute to fall short!

Refuse to fall short! This might scare you; you may have to make some modifications. You have to ask for help and be open as well as it could also mean saying goodbye to your pride and also what others might be saying or you.

My friends, it doesn’t matter because I refuse to fail.